I’m not sure when it happened exactly, but at some point, I earned the title of “BBQ Dad.” It might’ve been the time I smoked a brisket for 14 hours straight (the neighbors still talk about it) or the afternoon I confidently grilled burgers in a torrential downpour with a golf umbrella in one hand and tongs in the other. Either way, grilling has become my thing, my art, my escape—and strangely enough, one of the ways I’ve learned to be a better dad.
Parenting is a lot like manning a grill. You’ve got to pay attention, make adjustments, and accept that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things burn. But there’s always another meal, another chance to get it right. For me, grilling isn’t just about food. It’s a way to connect with my family, bring people together, and teach life lessons along the way. Let me explain.
The Grill as a Family Gathering Spot
Cooking over an open flame has a way of drawing people in. As soon as I fire up the grill, someone inevitably wanders outside—usually one of my kids—to see what’s cooking. It’s become a ritual in our house. My youngest likes to “help” by rearranging the seasoning jars, and my teenager, who is glued to her phone most of the time, will actually hang out and chat while I flip steaks.
Grilling gives me a chance to talk to my kids without the pressure of a formal “sit-down-and-talk” moment. There’s something about the casual atmosphere—the smell of food, the sound of sizzling—that makes conversations flow naturally. They ask me questions about school or friends, and sometimes, I even get a few words out of my teenager that aren’t sarcastic.
Lessons in Patience (and Mistakes)
If grilling has taught me anything, it’s patience. You can’t rush good barbecue. I used to be the guy who cranked the heat to high, thinking I could shave a few minutes off cooking time. Spoiler alert: That method doesn’t work. Now, I know better. Low and slow is the way to go when you’re after tender, flavorful meats.
Parenting works the same way. You can’t rush your kids’ growth or learning. When my son struggles with math or my daughter wrestles with a tough decision, I remind myself to slow down, listen, and give them space to work through it. Just like grilling, parenting takes time, and sometimes you’ve got to accept that things won’t turn out perfectly. I’ve burned plenty of chicken thighs in my day, but you know what? You learn, and you get better.
The Art of Improvisation
Grilling has taught me to think on my feet. There have been times when I’ve run out of propane mid-burger or realized too late that I forgot to marinate the chicken. Instead of panicking, I’ve learned to roll with it—switch to the stovetop, whip up a quick dry rub, or simply declare it a “hot dog night.”
Parenting is full of moments like this. Just last week, I forgot to RSVP for my daughter’s school event, and we ended up sneaking in at the last minute. We laughed about it, and I promised to do better next time. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, but if you can adapt and keep your cool, you’ll be fine.
Teaching Responsibility Through Fire
One of the proudest moments of my grilling career was teaching my son how to grill his first burger. He was nervous about handling raw meat and using the grill, but I walked him through it step by step. By the end of the night, he was flipping patties like a pro and couldn’t wait to grill again.
It wasn’t just about the food; it was about giving him a sense of responsibility and confidence. Grilling, in a way, is a rite of passage. You’re trusted with fire (and everyone’s dinner), and that’s no small thing. Teaching my kids how to grill is my way of passing down a skill that’s about more than cooking—it’s about self-reliance, patience, and, yes, knowing how to impress a crowd.
The Joy of Feeding People
There’s a certain satisfaction in feeding people, especially your family. Watching my kids devour ribs or my wife quietly nod in approval after her first bite of smoked salmon—those moments make all the prep, the mess, and the occasional mishap worth it.
I think there’s something primal about it. Food is love, and grilling feels like the ultimate expression of that. I’m not the best at verbalizing my feelings (what dad is?), but when I hand my family a plate of perfectly cooked barbecue, they know.
The Great Outdoors
One of my favorite things about grilling is that it gets us all outside. Whether it’s a backyard barbecue or a camping trip with a portable grill, cooking outdoors feels like a little adventure every time. I’ve spent countless evenings grilling while my kids play tag or my wife reads a book nearby.
It’s those small, simple moments that I think my kids will remember when they’re older. Not the fancy vacations or elaborate birthday parties, but the lazy summer nights when we cooked, ate, and laughed together under the open sky.
Passing the Torch
I know I won’t always be the one manning the grill. One day, my kids will have grills of their own, and they’ll be the ones flipping burgers and teaching their kids how to light a charcoal chimney. And honestly, that’s the goal.
Grilling, to me, is more than a hobby. It’s a way to connect, to teach, to celebrate. It’s about passing down traditions and creating memories that stick. I hope that when my kids think back on their childhood, they remember the smoky smell of ribs on the grill and the sound of me yelling, “Who wants seconds?”
Being a dad isn’t easy, and neither is being a grill master. But both roles come with their own rewards—messy, imperfect, and utterly satisfying. So, here’s to the dads out there burning burgers, juggling tongs and toddlers, and doing their best to master the art of parenting, one BBQ at a time. Trust me, it’s worth every misstep. And if all else fails, there’s always hot dogs.
