Hey there, fellow dads. Valentine’s Day can feel a little different when you’re navigating it solo. For years, I associated February 14th with being part of a couple, planning candlelit dinners, scrambling to find the perfect gift, or orchestrating some grand romantic gesture. But as a solo dad, I've learned that Valentine's Day doesn’thave to feel lonely or sad, awkward, or meaningless. In fact, it’s become one of my favorite opportunities to celebrate love in all its unique forms—love for my kids, myself, and even my community.
Here’s how I’ve redefined Valentine's Day, and how you can too, in a way that feels fulfilling and fun.
1. Celebrate with Your Kids
If you’re like me, your kids are your world. Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to shower them with love and remind them how much they mean to you.
- Make it a family tradition: I like to kick things off with a “fancy” breakfast. Heart-shaped pancakes, strawberries, and some pink or red napkins can turn an ordinary morning into something special. My kids love getting little notes that say what I appreciate about them.
- Craft together: Last year, we spent the evening making homemade Valentine’s for their friends and teachers. It was messy, sure, but also a lot of fun. Plus, it gave me the chance to talk to them about kindness and thoughtfulness.
- Movie night with snacks: Snuggle up for a family movie marathon. Bonus points if the movies have a “love” theme—think Wall-E, Up, or even something silly like Shrek.
- Teach them self-love: I also use the day to talk about how important it is to love and take care of yourself. We might do something small like a kid-friendly spa day (yes, I'm totally the dad who lets them put cucumbers on my eyes).
2. Take Time for Yourself
Valentine’s Day doesn’t always have to be about others. Dads, we’re usually so busy taking care of everyone else that we forget to pause for ourselves. Use this day as a reminder that self-love is essential, too.
- Treat yourself: Buy something you’ve been wanting for a while, whether it’s a new gadget, a book you’ve been eyeing, or that ridiculously expensive coffee you never order. You deserve it.
- Do something indulgent: For me, that might mean ordering my favorite takeout, kicking back with a beer, and rewatching The Office for the hundredth time. For you, maybe it’s a long jog, a hot bath, or finally diving into that hobby you keep putting off.
- Reflect and recharge: Valentine’s Day can also be a great time to journal or reflect on what you love about your life. It’s not something we often prioritize as parents, but hey—why not let February 14th be a little reminder to practice gratitude?
3. Connect with Your Community
One of the things I’ve learned is that love doesn’t have to be limited to romantic relationships. Valentine’s Day can be a great opportunity to strengthen connections outside of that.
- Spread kindness: My kids and I have started a tradition of dropping off treats or thank-you notes for our neighbors and friends. It’s a great way to show appreciation for the people who make life better.
- Volunteer: A few years ago, we spent Valentine's Day volunteering at a local shelter, and it was one of the most meaningful celebrations I’ve ever had. Giving back is an incredible way to feel connected to something bigger than yourself.
- Check in with friends: Text or call a friend who might also be solo this Valentine’s. A simple “Hey, thinking of you today” can go a long way.
4. Laugh at the Cliché of It All
Let’s be real—Valentine’s Day can be a bit over-the-top. Instead of feeling like I needed to “keep up” with the traditional romance-oriented expectations, I decided to laugh at them instead.
- Lean into the humor: Make it cheesy on purpose. I’ve sent my kids candy hearts with the most absurd messages, like “You’re OK” or “Maybe Later” just to get a laugh.
- Binge anti-Valentine’s shows or movies: One year, after the kids were asleep, I watched Deadpool because it’sthe perfect mix of hilarious and awkward romance. Who says Valentine’s has to be serious?
- Have a joke contest: One time, the kids and I had a contest to see who could come up with the worst Valentine’s Day jokes. (Knock-knock jokes were, unsurprisingly, the winners.)
5. Redefine “Romance”
If you're like me, the idea of rekindling romance might cross your mind on Valentine’s Day. Maybe you’re not there yet, and that’s OK. Or maybe you’re ready to dip your toes back into dating—either way, this day doesn’thave to feel like a pressure cooker for romance.
- If you’re single and happy: Remind yourself that being solo doesn’t mean you’re incomplete. You’re already enough, and Valentine’s doesn’t have to mean finding someone else to celebrate with.
- If you’re dating casually: Keep it light! Valentine’s Day can be as simple as grabbing coffee with someone or exchanging funny texts. No need to overthink it.
- If you’re ready for love again: Use Valentine’s Day as a reason to reflect on what you want in a future partner and how you’d like to grow before diving back into a relationship.
6. Let Go of Expectations
One of the most freeing things I’ve done is stop expecting Valentine’s Day to look a certain way. There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate it as a solo dad.
- Stop comparing: It’s easy to scroll through social media and feel like everyone else is having some perfect, romantic day. But remember, those highlight reels don’t tell the whole story. Focus on what makes youhappy.
- Do nothing, and be OK with it: Some years, I’ve done absolutely nothing for Valentine’s Day. No decorations, no big plans, nothing. And you know what? That’s fine. Sometimes, we all need a break.
- Let it be what it is: Whether you feel joy, sadness, gratitude, or even indifference, let yourself feel it. Valentine’s Day is just another day on the calendar, and you have the power to create your own meaning for it.
7. Plan for Next Year
If this Valentine’s Day feels a little unstructured, use it as a chance to brainstorm how you’d like to celebrate in the future.
- Start a new tradition: Think about what would make the day meaningful for you and your kids. Maybe it’s as simple as baking cookies together or as elaborate as planning a family outing.
- Get creative: One year, I wrote a goofy Valentine’s poem for each of my kids. It was so much fun that they begged me to do it again the next year.
- Don’t overthink it: The best traditions are often the simplest. Focus on what feels fun and realistic for your family.
