As a millennial dad, I often find myself reflecting on what success means to me and how it differs from what my parents, especially my dad, considered successful. Growing up, I watched my father work tirelessly, often clocking in long hours and sacrificing time with family to provide for us. Back then, this was the norm. Success was measured by the hours you put in, the promotions you earned, and the material symbols of status—like the house, the car, and the corner office. But now, as a father myself, I see things differently. My definition of success as a millennial dad has shifted, and I’m not alone in this.
For me, success isn’t just about earning a paycheck; it’s about earning time. Time to spend with my kids, time to pursue my passions, and time to simply live my life without being tied to a desk 24/7. Many millennial dads are redefining what success looks like, and it’s a fascinating shift from past generations. We’re earning more, sure, but we’re also working less—and that’s by design.
The Traditional Idea of Success: Work Hard, Provide, Repeat
Let’s start by acknowledging how hard previous generations worked to give us the opportunities we have today. My dad, and probably yours too, grew up in a world where being a “good father” or a “successful man” meant working long hours to ensure the family was financially secure. It wasn’t uncommon for dads of that era to spend more time at the office than at home. Vacations were rare, and evenings were often consumed with work-related stress or catching up on tasks.
This isn’t to criticize them—far from it. They did what they had to do in a society that valued workaholism and equated financial success with personal worth. But for many millennial dads, myself included, this model doesn’t resonate anymore. We don’t want to miss out on the first steps, the soccer games, or the bedtime stories. We want to be present—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, too.
Why Millennial Dads Are Redefining Success
So, what’s driving this shift? For one, our generation has had a front-row seat to the pitfalls of the traditional model. We’ve seen the toll endless work takes on relationships, mental health, and overall quality of life. Many of us grew up with dads who were too busy or too stressed to fully engage with us, and we don’t want to repeat that cycle.
The changing nature of work is another factor. Thanks to technology, flexible work arrangements, and the gig economy, it’s easier than ever to design a career that fits around your life rather than the other way around. Personally, I work remotely, which means I’m around to do school drop-offs, help with homework, and even sneak in a quick lunch with my kids. This wouldn’t have been possible a generation ago.
But perhaps the most significant driver is a shift in values. For millennial dads, success isn’t just about providing financially; it’s about providing emotionally and being an active participant in family life. We want to be dads who are there for the big moments and the small ones, who are fully engaged and present. And we’re willing to make sacrifices—financial and otherwise—to make that happen.
Earning More While Working Less
Now, let’s talk about the “working less” part of this equation. At first glance, it might seem counterintuitive. How can you earn more if you’re working less? The answer lies in prioritization, efficiency, and, frankly, a bit of courage.
I’ve found that the key to working less is knowing what’s truly important in your professional life and focusing your energy there. For me, this means saying no to projects that don’t align with my goals, delegating tasks whenever possible, and setting firm boundaries around my time. It’s not always easy—there’s still that little voice in my head telling me I should be doing more—but ultimately, it’s about working smarter, not harder.
Many millennial dads are also embracing entrepreneurship or side hustles as a way to take control of their time and income. Starting my own business was one of the scariest decisions I’ve ever made, but it’s also been one of the most rewarding. It’s allowed me to set my own schedule and create a career that aligns with my values and priorities. Plus, it’s incredibly fulfilling to know that I’m building something for myself and my family, rather than just punching a clock for someone else.
The Benefits of Redefining Success
The benefits of this new approach to success go far beyond just having more time with your kids (though that’s a big one). For starters, it’s made me a happier, healthier person. By prioritizing work-life balance, I’ve been able to reduce stress, focus on self-care, and invest in relationships that matter to me.
It’s also had a positive impact on my kids. They see me not just as a provider, but as someone who’s actively involved in their lives. I’m there to listen, to guide, and to support them in a way that I hope will set the foundation for a strong, lasting relationship. And perhaps most importantly, I’m modeling a different definition of success for them—one that’s about balance, fulfillment, and living a life true to your values.
Challenges and Pushback
Of course, redefining success isn’t without its challenges. There’s still a lot of societal pressure to conform to the old model of success, and it’s easy to feel judged for choosing a different path. I’ve had people question my work ethic or suggest that I’m not ambitious enough because I refuse to prioritize work over family. It’s frustrating, but I’ve learned to let those comments roll off my back.
There’s also the financial aspect to consider. Working less might mean earning less, at least initially, and that can be a tough pill to swallow. For my family, this has meant making some adjustments—cutting back on unnecessary expenses, being mindful of our budget, and focusing on what really matters. But honestly, the trade-offs have been worth it.
Final Thoughts: Redefining Success Is Personal
At the end of the day, redefining success is a deeply personal journey. What works for me might not work for another millennial dad, and that’s okay. The important thing is to figure out what matters most to you and build your life around those priorities.
For me, success isn’t about the size of my paycheck or the title on my business card. It’s about being present for my kids, creating a career that aligns with my values, and living a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. It’s about earning a living without sacrificing my well-being or my relationships. And yes, it’s about working less—because life is too short to spend it all at a desk.
So, to all the millennial dads out there who are redefining success in their own way: keep going. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Our kids are watching, and by choosing to prioritize what truly matters, we’re teaching them a powerful lesson about what it means to live a successful life.
