I remember the exact moment I realized how stubborn my dad could be. It was years ago, and we were sitting on the porch, sipping coffee in the early morning light. His face was slightly flushed, and I couldn’t help but notice the way he winced every time he shifted in his chair. I nudged him and asked, “Dad, are you okay?”
He waved me off with a casual, "I'm fine, don’t worry about me." That was his go-to response for everything. A sore back? "I’m fine." A persistent cough? "I’m fine." A headache that wouldn’t go away? You guessed it—“I’m fine.”
But that morning, for some reason, it hit me differently. I realized it wasn’t just about him brushing off my concerns. It was about something deeper, a reluctance to admit that he might need help and—more importantly—a refusal to prioritize his health. It was the first time I told him, “Dad, don’t skip your checkups.” Little did I know, it would become a mantra I'd repeat often.
Why Do Dads Avoid the Doctor?
My dad isn’t unique in this behavior. Many dads out there seem to have a serious case of “doctor avoidance syndrome.” Whether it’s pride, fear, or just plain stubbornness, they often delay or skip regular checkups until something feels undeniably wrong. And even then, it might take a little (or a lot of) nudging to get them to make an appointment.
I’ve thought a lot about why this happens, and here’s what I’ve come to understand:
- They think they’re invincible. My dad, like many others, grew up with the mindset that he had to “tough it out” and power through pain or discomfort. Asking for help—or even acknowledging it—felt like weakness to him.
- They’re busy. Between work, family responsibilities, and everything else, health often takes a backseat. My dad would always say, “I don’t have time for a doctor’s visit,” as though his schedule was too packed to spare an hour for himself.
- They’re afraid of the unknown. Let’s face it—going to the doctor can be intimidating. What if they find something serious? What if it means making changes to their lifestyle? For some, the fear of bad news can be paralyzing.
The Wake-Up Call
One of the hardest conversations I ever had with my dad was the one where I told him I was scared for his health. It wasn’t easy, but I needed him to understand how much his well-being mattered—not just to him, but to all of us. “Dad,” I said, “you always tell me to take care of myself, but how can I do that if you’re not here? Your health affects all of us.”
It was a wake-up call for both of us. He started going to his checkups, albeit reluctantly at first, but eventually, it became part of his routine. Watching him take those steps made me realize how important it is to address these conversations openly and honestly.
What Regular Checkups Can Catch
The truth is, regular checkups aren’t just about addressing immediate concerns—they’re about prevention. Doctors can catch things early before they become serious, and that can make all the difference. Here are just a few examples:
- Heart health: High blood pressure, high cholesterol, and other cardiovascular issues can go unnoticed for years. Routine checkups can identify these risks early on.
- Diabetes: Many people don’t realize they have prediabetes or diabetes until it’s progressed. Early detection can help manage or even reverse the condition.
- Cancer screenings: Routine screenings, like colonoscopies, can catch cancer in its early stages when it’s most treatable.
- Mental health: It’s not just about physical health—regular checkups can help identify signs of depression, anxiety, or stress that might otherwise go unaddressed.
How I Got My Dad to Take His Health Seriously
I won’t sugarcoat it—it wasn’t easy convincing my dad to prioritize his health. It took time, patience, and a whole lot of persistence. But eventually, we got there. Here’s what worked for us:
- Appealing to his logic. I explained that going to the doctor now could save him from bigger problems (and more invasive treatments) down the line. Preventative care is less painful—physically and financially—than dealing with a major health issue.
- Making it about the family. I reminded him that his health wasn’t just about him—it was about all of us. We wanted him around for as long as possible, and that meant taking care of himself.
- Helping him with the logistics. Sometimes, the hardest part is just getting started. I offered to help him schedule appointments, find a doctor he liked, and even go with him if he wanted.
- Celebrating small wins. After his first checkup in years, I made sure to tell him how proud I was. Positive reinforcement goes a long way!
A Lesson for All of Us
Convincing my dad to take his health seriously also made me reflect on my own habits. How often do I put off things I know I should do? How often do I prioritize work or errands over self-care? The truth is, we could all learn something from these conversations with our dads (or other loved ones).
Health isn’t something to take for granted. It’s not something to put on the back burner until there’s a problem. It’ssomething we need to nurture and protect, every single day.
Tips for Encouraging Your Dad to Get Checkups
If you’re trying to persuade your dad—or any loved one—to prioritize their health, here are a few tips to keep in mind:
- Start with empathy. Understand that their reluctance might come from fear, discomfort, or simply not knowing where to start. Approach the conversation with kindness, not judgment.
- Share stories. Sometimes, hearing about someone else’s experience can be a powerful motivator. If you know someone who caught a serious issue early thanks to a checkup, share that story.
- Offer to help. Whether it’s finding a doctor, making an appointment, or just being there for moral support, your involvement can make a big difference.
- Be patient. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Keep the conversation going, and don’t get discouraged if it takes time.
A Happy Ending
These days, my dad is a different man. He doesn’t just go to his regular checkups—he actually talks about them. He’ll call me after an appointment to tell me what the doctor said, or to share a new piece of advice he’s picked up. And you know what? He’s healthier and happier for it.
It wasn’t easy getting to this point, but it was worth every awkward conversation, every gentle nudge, and every moment of frustration. Because at the end of the day, there’s nothing more important than seeing the people you love healthy and thriving.
So, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: Don’t give up. Keep reminding your dad (or whoever it is in your life) to take care of themselves. Because sometimes, all it takes is a few words to make a world of difference:
“Dad, don’t skip your checkups.”
Thank you for reading, and I hope this inspires you to have that important conversation with someone you care about.
