I finally found my quiet time as a busy dad, and it changed everything. Between work, parenting, and life’s endless to-do list, I used to believe peace was something reserved for weekends or retirement. But as I learned, small, intentional shifts in how I approached my time made a world of difference. Let me tell you my story, and maybe it’ll help you find your moments of stillness, too.
The Chaos That Was My Life
Before I figured this out, my life was a whirlwind. I’m talking about early morning wake-ups, rushed school drop-offs, nonstop emails at work, and evenings filled with homework help, dishes, and bedtime routines. By the time the day was over, I was either collapsing on the couch or mindlessly scrolling my phone. I had no time to sit with my thoughts, let alone recharge.
It wasn’t that I disliked being busy. I love my role as a dad and take pride in my work. But something was missing. I felt like I was constantly giving—energy, patience, and attention—without replenishing myself. I knew I needed quiet time, but I had no clue how to make it happen without letting something else slip through the cracks.
The Turning Point: A Realization Over Morning Coffee
The shift came one random morning. My wife took the kids to a Saturday activity, and I found myself completely alone in the house. At first, I didn’t know what to do with myself. My default was to start cleaning or tackling errands. But instead, I stopped, made a cup of coffee, and sat on the back porch. No phone, no chores—just me, my coffee, and the sound of birds.
It hit me then: this was what I was missing. The stillness. The chance to just exist without rushing to the next thing. I hadn’t given myself permission to pause in years. And that’s when I decided to find a way to make moments like this a regular part of my life.
How I Found Quiet Time (and Held Onto It)
Creating space for quiet time didn’t happen overnight. It took a lot of trial and error and some tweaking of my routines. Here’s what I did:
- I Got Honest About My Schedule: I sat down and looked at how I was spending my time each day. It was shocking how much of it went to things that weren’t priorities—like aimlessly scrolling my phone or saying yes to commitments I didn’t really want to take on. I realized I wasn’t as “busy” as I thought; I just wasn’t using my time intentionally.
- I Started Waking Up Earlier: This was a game-changer. I’m not naturally a morning person, but I decided to wake up 30 minutes before the rest of the house. At first, it was hard, but once I got into the habit, those quiet mornings became my favorite part of the day. Whether I used the time to journal, read, or just sit with my coffee, it was my time.
- I Made Use of Small Windows of Time: Quiet time doesn’t always have to come in big chunks. I started finding small moments throughout the day to pause—like sitting in the car for five minutes after a grocery run or stepping outside for fresh air during lunch. These little breaks added up.
- I Set Boundaries Around My Evenings: My evenings used to be a chaotic mix of catching up on emails, tidying the house, and watching TV to zone out. I started setting firmer boundaries. By 8:30 PM, I’d turn off screens, dim the lights, and spend 20 minutes doing something calming, like reading or meditating.
- I Got the Family on Board: I explained to my wife that I needed some quiet time to recharge, and she was all for it. We started trading off watching the kids so we could both get some alone time. I also encouraged my kids to enjoy their own “quiet activities,” like drawing or reading, so the house wasn’t always buzzing with noise.
What Quiet Time Did for Me
Once I made quiet time a regular part of my life, the impact was incredible. Here’s how it changed me:
- I Became More Patient: As a dad, I noticed I was less snappy with my kids. When they spilled milk or refused to put on shoes, I could handle it with a calm that surprised even me.
- I Felt More Creative: Quiet moments gave my brain the freedom to wander. I started coming up with new ideas for work and even hobbies I wanted to try but had pushed aside.
- I Got Better at Decision-Making: When my mind wasn’t constantly racing, I could think more clearly. Whether it was a work problem or a parenting dilemma, I found myself making more thoughtful choices.
- I Rediscovered My Hobbies: I’d forgotten how much I loved things like reading, writing, and even just listening to music. Quiet time brought me back to these joys.
- I Became a Better Dad and Partner: Taking time for myself didn’t make me selfish—it made me better. I had more energy, more patience, and more to give.
The Challenges of Keeping Quiet Time (and How I Overcame Them)
Of course, it wasn’t all smooth sailing. There were days when the kids woke up early, or work deadlines left me frazzled. But I learned a few tricks to keep my quiet time a priority:
- I Was Flexible: Some days, my morning quiet time didn’t happen, so I’d carve out 10 minutes during lunch or after the kids’ bedtime instead. The key was not giving up when the routine fell apart.
- I Didn’t Feel Guilty About It: At first, I felt selfish for claiming time for myself. But I reminded myself that taking care of me meant I could take better care of my family. Everyone benefits when you’re at your best.
- I Made It Non-Negotiable: Quiet time became as important as brushing my teeth. It wasn’t something I could skip just because the day got busy.
What Quiet Time Looks Like for Me Now
These days, quiet time is a permanent fixture in my life. Here’s what my typical day looks like:
- 6:30 AM: I wake up 30 minutes before the kids and spend time journaling or sipping coffee in silence.
- Midday: If I’m working from home, I’ll step outside for a quick breather or eat lunch without distractions.
- Evening: Once the kids are in bed, I take 20 minutes to read or meditate before winding down for the night.
It’s not perfect, and some days get derailed, but overall, I’ve found a rhythm that works for me.
Final Thoughts
Finding quiet time as a busy dad wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Those small moments of stillness have made me a better dad, a better husband, and a better version of myself. If you’re feeling stuck in the chaos, I encourage you to start small. Wake up 10 minutes earlier or take a breather between tasks. You might be surprised by how those little changes transform your day—and your life.
